Thakkar's Blog

Invisible Work, Invisible Satisfactions*

2009-06-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

When David Fahl worked for an energy reseller, which bought and sold energy from generating companies, he noticed that getting things done right wasn’t always as high a priority as making deadlines, meeting deliveries or being on budget.

“You can get all those things done without doing any good work,” he says. It wore on him and didn’t give him a sense of accomplishment. “Not even the marketing people could come up with a plausible explanation for why the company existed,” he says.

In the information age, so much is worked on in a day at the office but so little gets done. In the past, people could see the fruits of their labour immediately: a chair made or a ball bearing produced. But it can be hard to find gratification from work that is largely invisible, or from delivering goods that are often metaphorical. You can’t even leave your mark on a document in increasingly paperless offices. It can be even harder trying to measure it all. That may explain why to-do listers write down tasks they’ve already completed just to be able to cross them off.

“Not only is work harder to measure, but it’s also harder to define success,” says Homa Bahrami, a senior lecturer in organizational behaviour and industrial relations at University of California Berkeley’s Haas School of Business. “The work is intangible or invisible, and a lot of work gets done in teams so it’s difficult to pinpoint individual productivity.”

She says information-age employees measure their accomplishment in net worth, company reputation, networks of relationships, and the products and services they’re associated with— elements that are more perceived and subjective than that field of corn, which either is or isn’t ploughed.

Companies should create meaningful short-term goals. Instead, “managers create all sorts of surrogate metrics that they can measure, like PowerPoint slide counts and progress charts,” says consultant Tim Horan. “The person doing the landscaping has a better sense of accomplishment.”

Jon Williams once worked in an auto-claims department where the number of new-claim calls, which could take half an hour, were tallied with the same weight as brief reminder calls to customers. Even so, his greatest sense of achievement was transforming an initially angry and frustrated customer into someone who was satisfied and even laughing. “That wasn’t measured at all,” he says.

The difficulty of putting your finger on what you’ve accomplished gives employees pangs. James Ault recently visited a municipal park where he worked in maintenance while in college. He saw the same signs he painted, the same electrical job he wired, and the same trees he planted 35 years ago. Now, he works on state energy policy, where he spends countless hours debating policy issues.

“I’ve said to my wife on multiple occasions, ‘It would be nice to be an electrician’,” he says. “You can take pride in what you’ve accomplished.”

At closing time, work doesn’t seem completed, just temporarily abandoned. As much as he loves his job, insurance broker Ryan Bowles envies Fred Flintstone’s exit from work in the quarry at day’s end. “He seems so happy sliding down that dinosaur’s tail when the whistle-bird blows,” he says.

Similarly, Jane Vawter, a management consultant, is jealous of ground-control engineers celebrating their spacecraft’s first flight. “That must be a tremendous feeling,” she says, “one I will never know.”

She has learned how to garner a sense of accomplishment from the work she produces, instead of the response it receives. She loves to do needlework in her spare time, just to control the process from start to finish.

The loss of such control over how and when a job is done is one reason the Industrial Revolution was resisted, says Gregory Clark, a professor of economics at University of California, Davis. “It seemed like the complete destruction of the value of work to people,” he explains.

Consequently, many employers had to pay workers up to a 40% premium to live under the employer’s control, he adds.

These days, we’re one step further removed from the finished product. Employees have to wait for the gratification that comes with seeing a goal finally realized. “The average delay is much, much longer for the average worker today,” says Robert Frank, a professor at Cornell’s Johnson Graduate School of Management. And behavioural science notes we have difficulty with a reward delayed.

Maybe that’s why Home Depot’s aisles are packed with do-it- yourselfers and why a colleague is complaining of soreness from spreading mulch.

Mechanical engineer Robert Schneider at least gets to see the ball bearings he designed being produced in the manufacturing plant downstairs from his office. But he spends a lot of time researching things that don’t directly translate into a finished product. “Much of the work I do goes unnoticed by anyone but me,” he says. “I need to rely on myself to know I am doing worthwhile work.”

*Courtesy:http://www.livemint.com/

Dilbert Again

2009-05-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

Courtesy: http://www.dilbert.com/

Images Speak More Than Words

2009-05-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

Today, while browsing through the set of blogs I read regularly, I came across a link to SecretZen.com. There are a lot of "PhotoSecrets" on the site. Some of them are simply fantabulous! I collected few images (courtesy SecretZen.com) to post them here:

Chocolate Trip*

2009-04-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

* This one comes from one of the blogs I read very often. I've made few edits (majorly removed words) but the concept remains 'as is'. Courtesy and Thanks: http://chandni.wordpress.com/. I could relate a lot with it and hence posting it here. Maybe, am bad at choosing words to put my thoughts/feelings on paper, but somehow can relate with quite a few bloggers online.

Remember Forrest Gump? And the dialogue “My mamma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you gonna get.”

I thought about. I like the idea of life as a box of chocolates.

One, I like life.
Two, I LOVE chocolates.

Never mind.

I really imagined life for a moment like a box of assorted chocolates. Aah, the possibilities.

Lets look at it.

Life according to me is a sum of people in it.

There are all kinds…the sweet ones that make life bearable…the stupid nutty ones that don’t work for me (but might for another…and that’s why we need to be open and broadminded, to make room for different tastes), the minty surprises that feel like a breath of fresh air on a dark night… Dark chocolates are good too, they add variety…and yet some could leave a bitter taste in the mouth. (Now don’t take that literally, I like dark chocolates!)

Its a good thing if you end up popping in one you don’t like….because only then can you know what is it indeed that you do like and appreciate it a lot better.

So you see, the point being that bad experiences are good in life. Bad people are good to meet.

Assorted is good news. Good old milk chocolate never hurt anyone, but doesn’t do much for variety either, na?

And even if you do evetually come back to the milky goodness of light brown chocolate (or insert one of choice), its good to do that after you’ve had the others.

Trying it and hating it is better than not trying at all or something like that.

So you see, life indeed is a box of chocolates. Assorted chocolates ( and I picture psychedellic polka dotted wrappers). Different shapes and sizes. All waiting to be unwrapped….explored. To be relished and savoured. Some that give a moment’s pleasure and then fade away, some with a taste that lasts a lifetime.

Likes it.

Electronics Purchase by Scott Meyer*

2009-04-25T03:30:00.001-07:00

*Courtesy: http://basicinstructions.net/

A Good Thought

2009-04-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Ability without dependability, flexibility and reliability is a liability.
- Aadil Bandukwala, CEO, Leading Minds and Talent Options

The Silent Analysis*

2009-04-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

Silence can be treated in many different ways, but I tend to see silence with apprehension. If you ask me why, I feel when I am faced with silence, I see it as something where the outcome I am not too sure about. When someone sits around without uttering a word, it is very perplexing. I wonder what is happening inside the person's head. Why don't they wish to say anything?

The other reason might be that I tend to be silent or without even a whimper only when I am , sad or angry. I like to chit chat, hum something.. laugh out at something on the television, but never will I sit in pin drop silence - except for the three reasons mentioned in the previous sentence.

Another something is when someone is very silent and not up and about, the mood invariably rubs onto me too. And I end up being low. So for me its more like irritation leads to silence or vice versa, and I hate being irritated/low. I always try to get over any fight with anyone at the earliest, and forget about it promptly, so someone leading me to be irritated or making me feel low is the worst deal.

So what do you do when you are faced with someone who is silent, and in fact selectively silent only with you? Obviously, I would draw the conclusion that some issue exists. Now getting down to the issue might need some coaxing and pushing given that the person concerned might surely be also quite irritated themselves with the silence. You can ask them outright, but then the chances are quite high that you might get a ' Oh! Nothing!' answer. In fact I am usually prepared for this answer and keep shut after that. If they have a problem, now its their turn to come out with it. How many times do you expect someone to ask anyways

Well usually, after the fury dies down inside my head, at times I melt and then go up to them again and ask in a sweeter/funnier/lighter/ more loving note. Here usually people are unable to resist and they break down!

What all one needs to do to get a conversation going!

*Original Thoughts from http://vectorgaming.blogspot.com/ with very few of my own editions. I felt the words communicated 'my thoughts' very well and hence the inspiration to source it from that blog to this one.

Post Secret - Not so Secret

2009-04-20T02:21:00.001-07:00

Courtesy: Post Secret

The Return of the Writer Within - :-)

2009-04-18T00:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah! The title says it all! (though "the writer within" is a bit more self-appreciating :D)

Its high time (approx 13.5 months) that anything went up on this blog. I feel I should continue using this platform to divert my mind to things other than those that occupy the office and home space. Because this activity includes a lot of things - surfing resources of multiple domains, getting to know the kind of creativity people have, the way people express their ideas, the language, the tone and much more -, it excites me. Down the line, may any of these inspire me to start writing myself, there could be multiple possibilities.

For the long run, I would like to give this blog a specific direction. Though it is difficult to determine a domain/topic at this stage, it could be anything from my professional interests to the partner's professional interests (academics) to films to sports to God knows what! This is just an idea. The objective is also to get more people read the blog and participate, share their views, ideas, thoughts, comments - all genuine ones! An automatic spam filter would surely help, but it would be talking too much technical at this stage :). The idea is to make this a platform where everyone involved would like to come together frequently for short time breaks and participate. Though there are no invitations going out at this, there may be some going ahead.

As I said earlier, these are just primary thoughts. I'm myself not sure how much, when and how will I be able to contribute to the blog over a period of time. But yes, the effort is going to be 100% genuine. And I hope to keep adding to the blog gradually.

Fingers crossed for the best :).

Cheers,
- J

Happily Ever After*

2008-02-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

* Courtesy of Images: Respective Image owners. With all due respect, Images have been searched from Google Images.

Hello Everybody,

I'm OFF (from office, net, work, routine) for the next few weeks to move towards the "Happily Ever After" Stage....to get married.

So see ya guys around once am back with my honey from the moon :)

~ Jiggs

How much is too much?*

2008-02-25T03:48:00.000-08:00

Everybody have experienced people telling them what to do, how to do, what decisions to make etc. Right through childhood almost until death, this process goes on. First the parents, then friends join, and then relatives are always there to get started- anytime, anywhere. Sometimes even acquaintances don’t hesitate to compete with the before mentioned. At every stage of life we get the suggestions, advices and opinions and more often than not, majority of them are unwanted or not asked for.

The childhood concern can be understood, but once the child turns into an adult and starts using his/her own brain to reason, think and act effectively, is it not a wise thing to leave them to deal with their own things? Things which they actually want to handle themselves. Isn’t it good to learn to do things on our own and be proud of them later on if everything went well? And it’s ok to be wrong sometimes. I mean who is perfect? When something goes wrong and the person has the brains to think of it as an experience and learn from it should be let to do so without any interference. Saying weird things and showing sympathy which one doesn’t need and being phony doesn’t help anyway. It only adds to the annoyance. And almost everybody ends up saying “I told you so….” And this irritates to the hilt.

The people who understand us and are there with us whatsoever don’t need to be told that we need help. They, almost always, understand the situation and react accordingly and don’t act weird even if we don’t accept their help/suggestion.

And on second thoughts, if everybody started understanding enough to think all this, wouldn’t we start sharing a close bond? But come on a little common sense doesn’t hurt, does it?

Talking about parents, majority of us are ok with them asking us to do this and that, despite our disliking towards the act in question. There are and will be several other things worldwide that others expect from you despite you like it or not. But how far is this right?

Now come the friends, colleagues and relatives. They speak of anything and everything related to anybody and everybody. And whenever they meet you, either you are too fat or too lean. And you should take their suggestions to improve yourself on all fronts. They are going to suggest you anyway, you listen or not.

I might sound like I’m ranting. And yes, I AM ranting. Because this blog is all I have to vent out my anger and frustration as I don’t tend to give it out on others. No-one for that matter. What with all that stuff that says ‘you can be yourself with someone closer’? Well, obviously I don’t advocate it and hence don’t follow it. I cannot be rude and harsh to others just because I don’t want to be.

Now the actual point is, how far can I be able to take it without breaking down? How much is too much?

*Courtesy:http://myways-oflife.blogspot.com/ - Few lines/words edited

Poems - From around the Web

2008-02-20T02:40:00.000-08:00

My Voice by Oscar Wilde
Within this restless, hurried, modern world
We took our hearts' full pleasure - You and I,
And now the white sails of our ship are furled,
And spent the lading of our argosy.

Wherefore my cheeks before their time are wan,
For very weeping is my gladness fled,
Sorrow has paled my young mouth's vermilion,
And Ruin draws the curtains of my bed.

But all this crowded life has been to thee
No more than lyre, or lute, or subtle spell
Of viols, or the music of the sea
That sleeps, a mimic echo, in the shell.

Sometimes...
by Meena
Sometimes I imagine...

Happily sailing through life
you and me walking hand in hand
able to face each problem and strife
experiencing a love that understands

Where I can rest all my anxiety
in your comforting arms
conquer every goal and see victory
and not come across despair or harm

Sometimes I wonder...

If you think about me
and share the same feeling
or am I just a quiet breeze
that comes and goes not affecting

Do you desire the same love
which echoes within my heart
thoughts of me do you just shove
and let my memories depart

Sometimes I just wish...

To be lost in you and in your passion
bathe in your tenderness and rejoice
to drown in the sea of your affection
and float in bliss listening to your voice

Sometimes I miss you and want you here
wishing for much more wishing for you
will you come to know or ever come near
and hold this heart of mine that longs for you..

Metaphors by Sylvia Plath
I'm a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.
Money's new-minted in this fat purse.
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I've eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there's no getting off.

I'm Nobody! Who are you? by Emily Dickinson
I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you -- Nobody -- Too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise -- you know!

How dreary -- to be -- Somebody!
How public -- like a Frog --
To tell one's name -- the livelong June --
To an admiring Bog!

My life closed twice before its close -- by Emily Dickinson
My life closed twice before its close --
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me

So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.

Single and Loneliness*

2008-02-18T22:40:00.000-08:00

I used to be the life of the parties, random strangers wanted to dance, drinks were brought left and right, I was used to getting stared at, compliments, I was the “it” guy! I raised my drink to every cheer, laughed all night and then… came home alone again! I keep telling myself that it’s all getting old but the fact is that its not getting old - I just don’t want to go at it alone anymore.

I choke up every so often, there’s a god awful ache in my stomach, I feel the need to cry but I don’t, I walk out of my own space and visit my already married friends. There’s noise, a routine and loneliness stays at least a couple miles away. I’m entertained, I turn into the cool guy again, we sit around, eat and gossip. Ultimately I come home late and loneliness is still there, so I head straight for bed.

I feel that I’m a good candidate to be in a relationship that lasts. I have my faults, bad days, and sometimes don’t know when to shut up. I also know I’m a pretty cool guy, with a good head on his shoulders, who believes in life and wants to live in every moment. I know these things, I’ve come to know me and what I’m about and yet I slump every now and then and just want to sleep.

Every one I talk to being family or friends tells me “everything is going to be fine” or “before you know it the right person will just come into your life” and of course “when you least expect it, when your not looking someone will pop right into your life”. How can this be said? how can single people not be looking? we have to be looking, otherwise we’d stay single forever. Yes, we can be out walking around, grocery shopping, or even at work and not be thinking about finding someone when they walk into our lives, but we were looking because we paid attention to the attraction, we looked for signs that indicated that “this could be it”.

When it turns out not to be “it” for me it hurts and loneliness takes me by the hand and walks me home to sleep. I dwell for a bit and eventually resume back to life. Back to the guy who’s the life of the party the guy who doesn’t stop. I get up, I do things, I remind myself that I need to push forward for me. Everyone and everything is important, but to a single person there should be nothing more important than taking care of oneself. Stand up, smile, remind yourself that your alive and that you have things to do. I fall and hurt and loneliness does not hesitate one bit to take me over when I’m weak. It’s OK to feel this way, we’re human and we feel. It’s just very important to get up and move on no matter how ugly or lonely the fall was, we must move on and KNOW that someone is looking for us. We must also keep looking, we must keep our eyes open, smile, knowing that we are every day closer to what we’re looking for.

Through all I keep having faith and something way down deep inside of me tells me that one day for some funny, delicious reason I’m going to walk hand in hand and dance with someone I was in fact looking for, even when I wasn’t.

*Courtesy: A Blogger whose web URL I missed noting. Apologies and Thanks to the person. There are a few edits to the original content.

Dilbert Again*

2008-02-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

*Courtesy: http://www.dilbert.com/

Notes To Myself*

2008-01-23T20:56:00.000-08:00

"As I look back on my life, one of the most constant and powerful things I have experienced within myself is the desire to be more than I am at the moment - an unwillingness to let myself remain where I am - a desire to increase the boundaries of myself - a desire to do more, learn more, express more - a desire to grow, improve, accomplish, expand. I used to interpret this inner push as a meaning that there was some one thing out there I wanted to do or be or have. And I have spent too much of my life trying to find it. But now I know that this energy within me is seeking more than the mate or the profession or the religion, more even than pleasure or power or meaning. It is seeking out more of me; or better, it is, thank God, flushing out more of me."

- From *“Notes to Myself”, By Hugh Prather.

The Glorious Uncertainties*

2008-01-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

Will I get that job offer? Will I get admission into that college? Will I be able close the deal with those clients? Will I perform well on stage tonight?

It is thoughts such as these that trouble our minds and make us unhappy. Why do we torture ourselves in this manner? What makes these thoughts pervade our minds day in and day out? It is the same reason that people turn to Astrology, Numerology, Palmistry, Tarot Cards, etc to tell them their future. It is the Uncertainty. People have never been able to live with the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen to them. Hence we expend all our energy worrying about the future rather than living in the moment. Our inability to come to terms with this uncertainty makes us suffer.

To deal with the uncertainty, we must first learn to give up the one thing we never had and never will have i.e. Control. We cannot control what will happen in our lives and in the lives of others around us. I may get the job offer or I may not. We must accept that we cannot know how things will turn out. This is the first true realization i.e. not knowing. Once this simple truth dawns upon us then we will have taken the first step towards becoming comfortable with uncertainty.

Consider this situation. What if you were told by a reliable source (say your God), without any room for doubt, about everything that will happen in your future? Say, that you could know all the complete and accurate details about every single day of the rest of your life. Would you like to know this? The first instinct of most people would be Yes, we would like to know. Then we would never have to worry again and our minds would be at peace. But, think about it again. Would you really want to know? If you knew every single thing that is to happen on every single day, then would there be any joy in living that life? If you already knew everything, then you would be reduced to a spectator in your own life. It would be like watching a movie when you know exactly what will happen in every scene. Do you enjoy watching such a movie? Or would you rather watch a movie where it is full of unpredictable twists and turns and you don’t where it is heading next?

Thinking about this, we can see that uncertainty is not only inevitable but is also a good thing. Without uncertainty, our lives would be dull and devoid of joy. It is the uncertainties that bring us happiness. But, would I be that happy if I already knew how things would turn out and didn’t have to bother to do anything? Probably not. If I knew for certain that I was going to get the job, then I wouldn’t have spent time making my resume, preparing for the interview, getting a new suit, etc. Again, if I didn’t do all those things with the knowledge that I was to get the job, would the offer give me much joy? Again, it would not. It is the journey that brings us happiness and not the destination. These journeys would not exist without the uncertainty.

We must accept the uncertainties of our lives as they are. We should learn to start liking the uncertainty. Savor the journey and banish from the mind all thoughts of the outcome. We must live in the here and the now and enjoy the moment. If we can do this, we will find that most of our troubles cease to be troubles anymore.

*Courtesy: http://content.msn.co.in - few sentences, words edited.

Prioritize

2008-01-06T22:42:00.000-08:00

Courtesy: www.basicinstructions.net

Dilbert by Scott Adams :)

2007-12-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

Courtesy: www.dilbert.com

Good To Have Friends :)

2007-12-12T03:03:00.000-08:00

Enlarge (Click) the Image above and see how important it is to have Friends ;). People have the wildest of imaginations - and they can communicate it so well too! Enjoy!!!

How To Drink A Cup of Coffee - Mr. Bean e-Shtyle

2007-11-29T23:01:00.000-08:00

Life Before The Computer

2007-11-28T04:18:00.000-08:00

Life's Little Instructions

2007-11-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

Have a firm handshake.

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

Own a great stereo system.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come per cent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Lend only those books you never care to see again.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with children, let them win.

Give people a second chance, but not a third.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need to stay only a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

Once in a while, take the scenic route.

Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

Become someone's hero.

Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

Wave at the children on a school bus.

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

Don't expect life to be fair.

Few Learnings

2007-11-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

- Those who love you will always be there for you even if they keep saying that when you’re in trouble they won’t be.

- You reach a point where nothing else matters other than the fact that you’re happy with who and what you are.

– Just because people don’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t.

- Your expectations will kill you if you let them go too far.

- Always stand by what you think is right. You know where you stand, so if something doesn’t feel right, that’s probably because it’s not.

- I’ve learned to set boundaries so that people don’t take me for a granted and walk all over me. Because given a chance, they will.

- My being emotional is, generally, my strength and not a weakness - though sometimes it turns out be a weakness too!

- At the base of it all, all of us wants the same thing.

- No matter how many times I disagree with family members, I will always be protective of them, just as they are of me.

- Not many people care - so treasure the ones who do and not take them for granted

- During an (angry) argument, the tongue speaks before the mind thinks. So it’s better to just shut up.

- If I smile, the world will smile right back at me.

- My flexibility/adjustability/letting go nature is my biggest asset.

- People who have the capability to make you laugh when you’re down or worse, angry are the people that you should always be grateful for having in your life.

- I am my own friend, philosopher and guide. I analyze, criticize, commend and push myself. The mind is indeed a very powerful tool.

- The only person that I have to prove anything to, is myself.

Thoughts

2007-11-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue.

The truth is I've always been a fool.

-- Edward Bloom (Big Fish)"

Life may be tough, but I refuse to give up

On looking ahead in life.....

A car's windshield is about 89% bigger than the rearview mirror - Unknown

Is love enough?

That’s the question that comes to mind at various occassions/times. Sometimes, what matters is the way you look at and are looked at in eyes, wanting but still having that satisfaction of knowing that you are loved. May be, just may be!

The question of “is love enough?” keeps coming back. We’re so conditioned in our way of thinking. We’ll meet the right person, we'll do all right things and then live happily ever after.

Well, what about the practical/reality side of it all? Is love enough to sustain and survive? Are there not difference of opinions because there is love? Does the "i" factor never come in because there is love? With growing age, are there not multiple priorities of a person in addition to love? With growing age, are there not multiple responsibilities that add in to love? May be!

Reality hits hard in the face. It is indeed debatable and can be argued endlessly but when it comes down to it, there are so many circumstances when love just isn’t enough. But then does that mean that we become cynical and think only in terms of the pros and cons of a relationship rather than the way we feel? Well, not always! 'Understanding', 'Patience', 'Maturity' and 'Let Go' - in good words AND 'Sacrifice', 'No Luxury' - in hard words - hold the key. Please remember we are not talking of only the 'better-half' relationship here. Relationship, here, could be any - your friends, your family, your long-distance relative (is this is a correct term?), your colleague, your neighbour, your daily commute buddy, your nephews, your neices n so on n so forth - any relationship.

I believe balance of everything mentioned a few lines above helps (it definitely does - given its both ways!). But only when practically implemented! Coz today, everybody 'talks' as if s/he has had the worst (read 'best' in terms of learning) experiences in life. On the other hand, as soon as there is a hint of acceptance of the relationship, those talks remain 'mere talks'. As I said earlier - Reality hits hard in face (sometimes on head, in stomach and god knows where else!). Whatever you decide on giving up for the one you love (not necessarily a boyfriend/girlfriend - include friends, families and colleagues as well here) is the price that you are willing to pay to be with them/make them happy and move on. The decision has to be ultimately yours. No one decides for you, coz practically you are living your life and everyone else is living their lives. Ofcourse, the influence on each other's life again plays a very big role in decisions you take or everyone else takes. And thats where all those soft/hard words and their balance comes in handy!

But to stop dreaming of just plain 'living happily ever after'? Never! :)

Holding onto those slipping moments*

2007-10-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

As a child we always tend to get amused by the grownups for funny reasons. The grownups do not have to go to school or study. Office is lucrative thing then and salary day is the best day.

Once you get into the grownups’ shoe; then you realize how much it pinches. Before you enjoy the salary day; you start planning the expenses!!

The worst of the being grown up is as you grow up; your parents start getting old. I know it is part and parcel of the life but still it pains. As a process of being grown up you tend to get exposed to all the things once were shielded from you in your young ages. The bitter facts of life like accidents, hospitals, medicines , deaths, so on and so forth. One needs to learn to deal with all; with a brave face even if you are shattered inside so that you could save those younger ones/dependents from the impact.

Probably the best part of grown up age is that you learn to give; you learn to care about others more than yourself and most of the times without expectations. You tend to have a bigger and forgiving heart unlike those young ages where you tend to hold grudge against many small things. You tend to learn to let things go; probably because you have shift of priority. You face all that is not good and pass those good vibes those younger ones/dependents.

There is nothing right or wrong in being grownup. It comes up with both. Probably that is why life makes more sense.

Still somewhere – sometimes you try to hold those carefree moments of life in your fist; give a try to stop them from slipping away even though you know they will slip by any ways…and you realize you have grown up; you need to learn to provide a shield instead of you go in search of one for yourself!!

*Courtesy: http://raysofthoughts.blogspot.com/ - few edits made to original words